carrie mason

Mar 31, 20208 min read

The Cheat Meal: A Redefinition

The term "cheat meal" has been bandied about as an excuse to eat badly for years. I refuse to refer to delicious food in such a derogatory manner. I mean, obviously we all know butter and cheese and bread and salt and fat and meat and carbs and sugar and well, basically everything, depending on your source or simply the day of the week, is considered "bad" for us anymore. I am sooooo over it!

It is exhausting and quite frankly, total bullshit!

All things in moderation is, in my non-professional and totally personal opinion, the way to walk that line. Is it easy? Hell no! If it was, we would all look like Chrissy and John.

Well, maybe not.

But we would probably be a bit more ahem...narrow, slender, err...not as round?

Which is not a bad thing! At least I don't think so. Am I fat shaming? Hell no!

But I can't imagine being unhappy by being able to dance at a wedding without having my circulation cut-off by my Spanx and worrying about pulling a "Nutty Professor" on the dance floor when my 48hr crash diet, body wrap and iron-boned-girdle combo all expire at the same time and zippers and seams come busting loose. Seriously guys, this is like one of my real and true fears. It is also why I usually don't worry about crash diets or gimmicks...I have the "Big Nutty Professor Fear"

So, I just don't do "cheat meals" in that sense anymore. I also don't do "Diets"

It is not that I have given up on eating healthy, and it certainly doesn't mean I only eat "clean" or "green" or "keto" or like our caveman ancestors, or any other bullshit.

It simply means, I eat what I want, when I want, within reasonable amounts and I try hard not to "eat my feelings".

So, if I am about to eat a bowl of ice cream, I just make sure it is an actual serving size and not a pint, and simply because I want the damn ice cream, not because I had a shitty day.

But that is me! You guys do you!

I am definitely not here to preach diet, or "good" vs "bad" foods, which for the record, I don't believe in either, in fact, this is why I am calling for a redefinition of the phrase "Cheat Meal"

Let's just stop categorizing our food as "good" vs. "bad" mmmkay?

We all know those meals that would typically take a whole day or sometimes longer to prepare, you know: the low and slow, the pickled and preserved, the time consuming but totally worth it meals that we typically reserve for weekends or holidays.

My new cheat meals are the all day meals that I have skimmed down to a quick and easy way to prepare so we can enjoy it on a weeknight, with total prep time coming in at less than an hour.

Yes, I know we don't always have even an hour to spend on dinner, but for the nights you do, cheat meals are totally worth the extra effort, they will make you feel good about what you are feeding, and they will be truly freaking delicious, despite the fact that you have cut the 8 hr prep down to an hour or less!

What the hell is this girl talking about? You are mumbling to yourself... I hear you!

This is what I am talking about:

BBQ Ribs, Homemade Quick Pickled Asparagus and Hasselback Potatoes (the bougie potatoes you see on pinterest all the time)

How about getting that meal fully prepared and served in an hour? Feels like a cheat meal to me! Wanna do it?

SHHH, I won't tell anyone what a cheater you are.

So are you in? Hell yeah - let's do this thang!

There are 3 recipes here, and I am laying them out in order of how I prepare them so they are all ready together and in that promised less than an hour time frame. You can do your thing, chicken wing, and make just one, two or all three of these dishes. If you go for all three, prepare for some serious accolades and love, hell, the Ginger even offered to help clean the kitchen afterwards, that is some serious good mojo brought about by dinner.

So this cheat meal is also a miracle worker, what more could you possibly ask for?

Special Equipment:

Pressure Cooker-I use a 6qt InstantPot

Trivet that fits into base of pot

BBQ Grill, or baking sheet (to broil in the oven, if you don't want to grill)

Wide skillet

Gather the troops:

For the Ribs:

1 rack St Louis Style Pork Ribs

1 12oz can of beer- whatever you are drinking is fine, alternately, this is a good way to use up that can of Natty Light that your weird Uncle left behind that time 3 yrs ago when he actually showed up for a family gathering.

1 cup of water

1/4 cup BBQ Rub-whatever rub you like, if you make your own, kudos! If not, grab a jar of what floats your boat at the local grocery store, it's a cheat meal, so be a cheater! Embrace it.

1 and 1/12 cups BBQ Sauce- I use Sweet Baby Rays most of the time, but I plan on using the leftover ribs to make fried rice, so this time I am using a jar of Korean BBQ sauce.

For the Pickled Asparagus:

1 lb Asparagus- tough, woody ends removed

2 cups water

1/2 cup fresh dill, chopped

2/3 cup Red Wine Vinegar

1/8 cup sugar

2 tbsp salt

2 cloves garlic-chopped

1 red onion- thinly sliced

For the Hasselback Potatoes

4 russet potatoes- well scrubbed

1/3 cup shredded Sharp Cheddar

1/3 shredded Parm or Swiss

1/3 cup butter- softened

It's time to be a Cheater!

Start by prepping your ribs, trim away the silver skin on the back side of the ribs, and rub your meat (heh heh, yes, I am a child and snickered at that line, send help) front and back with the BBQ rub. Place the ribs on to the trivet inside the pressure cooker and pour the beer and water over. Seal up the pot, and cook on High pressure for 18 minutes.

Once the ribs are in the pot, it is going to take about 10 minutes to come to pressure, 18 to cook, then about another 10 for the pressure to release, so you have 40 mins to get to work on your sides. This is plenty of time, I promise, take a deep breath and go to work!

Grab a wide skillet (wide enough for the asparagus to lay flat in one layer) and over high heat bring 2 cups (or enough to cover the bottom of the skillet with about 2 inches) of water to a boil. Once the water is boiling, gently lay the asparagus in and cover tightly. Allow to cook about 2-4 minutes, until bright green and crisp/tender.

Immediately remove asparagus and run under cold running water to stop the cooking and retain that gorgeous color!

In a large bowl whisk together the dill, vinegar, sugar, salt and crushed garlic, add the asparagus and sliced onion and toss well. Then transfer all of this, including the liquid to a large (gallon size) ziploc bag, gently massage and toss this in the fridge to get happy.

Fridge time is about 30 minutes, but the asparagus gets better the longer it is in, and will keep for a couple days at least, so if you want to make this ahead of time, go for it!

You can also make anytime to have these spears ready to go with snacks and sandwiches all week long, or add it to a cheese board when company comes to really look like you have your life together.

Since I started making these, I tend to always have a bag of these spears on hand, they are great for just munching, too. I also like that they keep just fine in the ziploc bag, no need for fancy jars or dirtying a storage container, they go quick enough that the bag is fine. If you are worried about using too much plastic, then you can store these in an airtight container of your choice.

Time to play hot potato!!

Note of caution: If you don't have asbestos fingers like me, you are going to need an ove-glove or mitt to work these babies, don't go nuts and burn yourself, I warned you, we are going to play hot potato! Also, care must be used when slicing the potatoes, you don't want to cut all the way through, so be careful, cautious, and patient, grasshopper.

With a fork, pierce the taters all around, place on a microwave safe plate and microwave on high. I used the "potato setting on my microwave, if you don't have a fancy potato button, then put them in for approx 12 minutes (3-4 mins per tater is the official google recommended time...fyi), turning them over, using previously mentioned asbestos fingers or oven mitts, about halfway through.

While your potatoes are getting hot, in a medium bowl, mix together the softened butter and cheese, until it is crumbly but holds together when pinched. Set aside.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Carefully remove those hot potatoes and place on a clean work surface. Carefully slice through each potato just about to the bottom, accordian style (don't cut all the way through, you need to be careful on this maneuver, it is tricky! Don't shoot your eye out, or lose a digit, mmkay?

Carefully fan out the potato slices and fill in with the cheese/butter mixture.

Pressing in as much of the mix as you can get and mounding a bit up on to the top of the potatoes.

Transfer to a baking sheet and bake until the cheese is melted, browned and bubbly. Keep warm on baking sheet tented with foil and set aside.

Ok, let's check them ribs, by now they should be done and your pressure released. If not quite done releasing, please fight the impulse to quick release the pressure cooker, remember what I have told you! I make mistakes, so you don't have to.

Doing a quick release on meat is a sure fire way to ruin your meat by squeezing out all of the moisture and turning your ribs into jerky. Don't be a jerky, just chill and wait for that valve to drop. Have a drink, you are almost at the finish line and mere moments from accolades, offers of foot rubs and dishwashing.

Now, your valve is dropped, you have a drink in your hand, the finish line is within site!

Carefully remove the ribs from the trivet and place on a baking sheet.

Baste generously with the sauce of your choice, and place under the broiler. Look, this is not the time to go get another drink, or respond to pleas of help from Ginger who lost his 187th hotwheel under the couch. Keep your ass by the stove and an eye on them ribs, baby! You want to broil them about 5-7 minutes until the sauce is caramelized and the edges have crisped up nicely.

Remove the ribs and let them rest, tented with foil for about 15 minutes.

Turn off the oven and put your warm potatoes back in while the ribs are resting, the residual oven heat will get your cheese back to that happy-melty phase that makes everyone swoon.

Once the ribs have rested, cut into 2 rib portions and place on a serving plate along with your asparagus, and get the melty cheesy amazing fucking potatoes out of the oven to go hang out with their buddies.